Today has been creeping by at work. Each minute gets slower…that’s when things get weird inside my head. I start thinking about thinking. I feel like I am less motivated than I used to be. Maybe a bit ‘ruttish’. What can I do?
Joe and I have been talking about moving to San Diego next year. Not that moving is a solution to anything, I feel excited about it. I think living somewhere that we can walk and bike more so than drive will increase quality of life.
In my job I feel a disconnect between what I should be doing and impacting and what I am doing. I am bored with my job at this point, and it’s making my work life drag. I can see it leaking into my personal life in the form of fatigue, headaches, and the weekend serving as a recovery from the week as opposed to time to do what I want to work towards my goals.
I feel like I used to be such an outgoing person, a force to reckon with. A hurricane of action. A tidal wave of accomplishment. Now I’d rather just take a nap.
I turned 24 without even knowing it. Seriously. What did I do for my birthday? Hmmm. Trying to remember.
Ah- I remember now. I got a new nephew for my birthday. Clayton- welcome to the family. Jesus though- really?
It’s all coming back to me. Day and night at the hospital waiting for this little baby. Seriously Leanne- does it take that long to give birth? Well- there went my birthday. I better remember to post for my 25th. I need to set a gmail reminder. BOo yaH!
Well I did have a party. A kegger even. But my lap top was stolen. Is that why I didn’t blog about it? Yep.
That solves the great birthday mystery. Well- 8 months later… deep into 24, and it feels great. I went to Maui last month and saw U2 in Boston with Billy- who is awesome might I add. Yeah. I don’t think I mind this getting older stuff so much right now.
My hair is more brown, lighter brown than when I last posted. I also think my legs got longer.
Maybe my toes are shorter though. I have sprained or broken my ankle and am limping about too stubborn to relax.
I took a bath. I have actually been taking a lot of baths- as much as I hate to use the phrase ‘a lot’. It’s been relaxing. I don’t think I have been as stressed. Maybe it’s the gym everyday at lunch that takes the edge off, or the violence of shoving a girl’s face in the mud at our soccer games every Sunday. Maybe it’s work. I work hard but have so much to do and there’s much a do but nothing I can’t handle.
I am having trouble believing the amount of time it has taken me to come post. Where has she been, other than getting taller and more broken?
It is said that some people view the world through rose-colored glasses. These said people seem to see the best in people and situations alike. They are generally happier and lead longer more productive lives than the cynic. Some days it seems that this is me. Loving life. Sometimes the world becomes too much. Obligations- bills. Men. They break my guitars, break my heart, and leave my rose-colored glasses shattered on the nightstand. I get out of bed and step on a piece of rose-colored glass, and bleed rose colored blood to remind me for years to come of the pain.
It is also said that Madonna wears rose-colored glasses to reduce the effects of her migraines. They supposedly tone down the eyes perception of color and help the brain to relax.
But there is a disconnect. You cannot feel the warmth of rose-colored glasses in your soul. You cannot taste the taste of rose-colored glasses on your lips, you cannot breathe rose-colored glasses deep into your lungs. I sit here while my rose tea steeps beside me. Everything is going to be okay. It’s just me and you Madonna. Let’s look at the rosy side of things.